Happy New Year (With Advice)

Well it's officially a new year, so I thought I'd post something that Julie sent to few of us at work. As she says, it's dumb but cute!

16 Things That Took Me 43 Years to Learn:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings." (This is so true; when I worked for American Express, we had meetings about our meetings!)

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." (Did you read that, WDCC Gang?!?! That's our Walt Disney Classics Collection group!)

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife. (This is another one that I know from personal experience, and more than once. I'm not the brightest bulb on the tree!)

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway. (And I have a great group of friends to whom I really put that to the test!)

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into some thing acceptable to have dinner with.